A Simple Sparkle

This is Fuel. Fuel is a youth ministry in the town where I grew up run by Pipeline Church and I volunteered with it for five years. Last night was the final night of the ministry. The church felt like God wanted them to close fuel and wait for a new opportunity to minister to the community. Fuel has meant so much to me over the years. This is the place where I learned about my spiritual gifts, where I met the Holy Spirit, where I learned to make and love coffee. I met my best friend here and some of the coolest people in my life. Fuel is the reason my sister and I stayed close. Fuel is the reason I stayed a Christian. Fuel is the reason I decided to dedicate my life to ministry. This is the place saw every experience of my life from ages fifteen to twenty, both wonderful and tragic. Never have I found a place that exudes so much love and truly demonstrates Christ's love to the community. When everything in my life felt uncertain, Fuel was solid and accepting. I never felt unlo...

We've been studying Yeats this past week and while it has been exhausting and frustrating, but he is my favorite so it's been pretty great. Since I have had very little time to do anything exciting enough to warrant a blog post, I will leave you with the only poem I've ever bothered to memorize, which must mean it's my favorite. -E Brown Penny I whispered, "I am too young," and then, "I am old enough"; Wherefore I threw a penny  to find out if I might love. "Go and love, go and love, young man, if the lady be young and fair." Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,  I am looped in the loops of her hair. Oh love is the crooked thing, There is no body wise enough to find out all that is in it. For he would be thinking of love til the stars had run away and the shadows eaten the moon. Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny, One cannon begin it too soon.  -W.B. Yeats

This week has just been so deliciously happy.  I really feel like all the anger and disappointment of the past few months has dissipated and been replaced with pure unadulterated happiness. And this isn't the kind of happiness that's dependent on some fallible thing. It's just general joy, jubilation. I can only attribute it to Jesus really. I've missed being this happy, I don't think I've felt such joy since I was a kid! Tonight I was at a chapel service and I just felt so peaceful about all the decisions I've been having to make and all the big changes in my life. I found myself laughing with joy during worship. I'm so glad that God turned me around when I was 18 and pointed me in this direction.  I know that this is only a chapter in my life and that trials are going to come, but I just feel like I can take on anything right now. Life isn't always easy, but there's a beauty in how God takes bad things and turns them around. -E

This morning was nothing short of magical. I've been battling a hardcore cold the past few days so I woke up at 8 as last night's Nyquil wore off. I had a craving for porridge from the Happy Pear, so I washed my hair, threw on my last clean shirt, and headed off into the most spectacular weather. I had intended to eat my porridge at the Happy Pear and do some reading for school, but once I got there I realized that I really wanted to walk down to the ocean. So I got my porridge and my coffee to "take- away" and I made my way through town to the shore. Greystones is so lovely in the morning. The sun was glistening down on the pavement and sparkling off the shop windows. The breeze that was drying my hair felt so happy and welcoming. I found a bench on the beach and I just sat and ate my breakfast. I got so lost in thought that I didn't even realize that I had dripped fruit all on my Bible. It stained the pages, but I think that'll end up being a happy remi...

So this weekend we were traveling quite a bit. We went down to Kilkenny and we saw two castles, two Abbeys, two cathedrals, and we toured the Waterford Crystal factory. It was a very beautiful trip full of old, beautiful things and new beautiful things.  Life has been very uncertain lately. There are several things in my life that I would like to have clarity on, including where I'll be this summer and what major I'm supposed to declare. I've been stressing myself out over everything, begging God to just give me one thing. One area in my life that I have an answer for. Then I realized that I already did. God is solid and constant. When everything in the world seems to be supporting the chaos theory, I can find my peace in Him. So I'm rejoicing in my uncertainty. Not knowing may turn out to be a blessing I never expected. There are so many possibilities for my summer and my life and I'm going to focus on that. God knows what's going on even when I don...

I am an introvert. A fierce introvert. It takes a while for me to open up to the idea of being friends with someone, and even longer to get close to them. So being thrown into a situation where I'm living in close contact with 30 new people gets me a little overwhelmed to say the least. At first I was just excited to be in a new place, then I was trying to convince myself that I might not have my reoccurring introversion problems, I made a few new friends, got a tiny bit close to a couple of girls, and finally then it hit me. This irrepressible fear of letting people into my life. I didn't want these people to actually know me, see my flaws, my hurts, my struggles. I'm very good at showing people an edited version of myself, but I can only keep that up for so long. Eventually the flaws come out. I drew into myself. I decided that it was only a few months, I didn't need deep connections; surface level relationships are fine. They aren't. God has a funny way of rev...

So these photos are awful and don't even come close to convey the magic that inhabited this bookshop. My only excuse is that they were taken hurriedly and I was much too distracted to pay attention to my camera. This bookshop has a name, but I can't remember it because the moment I saw the books lining the windows I was pulled into an enchanted forest of the most beautiful pages imaginable. The smell of books is not new to me, but I felt a catch in my breath every time inhaled. I didn't want to let go of that glorious scent. The books themselves were lovely and chaotically arranged in shelves and mountains of unopened boxes. There were new books, cheap books, old books, fancy books, and books that date back so far to their original publishing date they might have been first or second editions. I held a book that was published in 1860. I've touched older books, but always under the watchful eye of some librarian or antiques shopkeeper. This little book was just perch...