Posts

Showing posts from 2013

Who stole your enthusiasm?

Image
I've gotten into the habit of saying "get excited" sarcastically. As in "Spanish quiz tomorrow, get excited!"or "About to start that 20 page research paper... Get excited!" And recently, I've been struggling to be actually excited about things. Whenever I'm truly excited about something, I tend to play it down and my demeanor suddenly becomes "too cool for school" as I pretend to be mildly amused while suppressing the desire to jump up and down and laugh and giggle at something that sets my heart aflutter. Where did this reservation come from and why can't I shake it? What causes me to cover up an excitement that is bursting from within me? My theory is that somewhere along the line, high school probably, someone convinced me that my enthusiasm made me nerdy or childish and so I chose to reign it in and tone it down in order to please some standard I thought I had to meet. There's a well known quote from John Green that

Room to Change

Image
It's no secret that "Drops of Jupiter" is my favorite song. I can't really explain why, but I just really love it. One of the best lines is "[She] reminds me that there's room to change" yea ehhh ehh ehh ehh yeahh.... I've always liked the optimism of it, there is no point at which you cannot change your mind, yourself, your life. But where in life is there this room for change? Today, in my Theatre and the Church class we were discussing how in acting, "what's true today doesn't have to be true tomorrow". Our choice for a character can change as we grow and learn more about that role. There is freedom to change and to mess up. This led to us talking about how society tells us not to make mistakes, that we have to do things perfectly the first time. Consequently, every time we mess up we throw ourselves into a trench of embarrassment and shame. Why is it so wrong to make a mistake? How do we learn? How do we change and grow

Selfies and Pinterest

Image
I have tried to find the source of this quote, but I have searched in vain. Now I'm forced to admit that I saw it on Pinterest. But don't judge me for my resources, God can talk to you through any way He chooses to. He chose Pinterest for me.  "Treat every person you meet today like they are the most important person in the world."  This has been my challenge for the semester. For me this means being available, listening without distraction, putting the phone away at dinner and listening to people. A theme at TU this year is "Presence" and it correlates perfectly with this goal God has given me. I need to be present in my relationships, giving my undivided attention to whoever asks for it. I also need to be present in my classes. I need to learn to treat my professors like they are the most important people in the world. I'm paying to do so anyway, might as well embrace it. I have a terrible habit of checking out in class and day dreaming, or day

15 Reasons Why Mindy Kaling and I are the Same Person

Image
I love The Mindy Project and Mindy Kaling in general. I recently finished reading her hilarious book: I could hardly put it down and while I was glued to it I confirmed what has been a long time suspicion of mine. Mindy and I could be best friends in real life. Now I know that sounds creepy, but read what we have in common and then you'll understand. 15 Reasons Why Mindy Kaling and I Must be the Same Person We were both wallflowers in highschool, quietly pursuing a passion We both decided to go to college in the middle of nowhere (Taylor's not as fancy as Dartmouth, but I'll take what I can get) We are both bad/ awkward with children. We like children, we just don't always have the best instincts with them We both like dieting, but also like not dieting...  We take our best friendships very seriously, so we would be unstoppable as friends.  We enjoy sharing a bed with my friends (no matter the size) We hate "roast" style humor We love indi

awkward.

Image
Well life at TU is back in full swing and I'm still adjusting to the new major. I officially declared my communications major yesterday and it was strangely nerve-wracking. I felt silly being a junior, declaring my major for the first time. I had a lot of firsts this week; I had my first communications class, I signed up to audition for my first musical, I had my first spanish class of college and it is world's different from high school spanish- I might actually have to study! It's been a week of catching up, moving in, hugging, adjusting, and syllabus shock. But mostly this week has been awkward. I realize now that I'm a junior I really have very little excuse to be awkward and shy. I have to just jump in there and do life. I have to stop worrying about the impression I'm making. I've already learned that life is better when I'm just myself, it's just hard to put that into practice. There's the awkward "introduce yourself to the class&quo

When Waiting on God Turned Out to be God Waiting on Me

Image
I have been obsessed with finding a major since I first stepped on campus for Freshman Orientation two years ago. I have considered every possible option and every career path, pouring over curriculum guides, accepting advice from anywhere I could get it, with the exception of my actual advisor... by the middle of sophomore year I was on my third change of major and hating it. I was running out of time and I still had no idea what I wanted to do. So what do you do when you have to move forward but there's no where left to go? You flee the country. I went to Ireland with the hopes of buying some time to make a decision. I knew several people who had gone on the same program and they all told me what a life changing experience it had been. The Irish Studies Program, where all of your dreams come true! That was how I imagined it. I thought I would spend a semester learning about leprechauns and pressing into God and by the time I got home I would be so assured on God's plan f

Turning the Page

Image
Well, I'm back stateside! It was quite the little adventure trying to make my way home, but I finally made it. I'm happy to be home with all things familiar and a summer of infinite possibilities ahead of me, but I'm a little homesick for Ireland and all the people there. But let's talk about France. After I left Ireland I spent six glorious days in France with my family and it was a magical experience. Paris is the most beautiful city I have ever been in. Everything about it so lovely and quaint. It's a place that titillates the senses. The sounds of the metro, though screeching and murmuring make you feel like you're being pulled into an adventure you never expected. I heard music in the rusty creaks of the underground escalators and the voices of arguing Frenchmen in the streets. Everywhere you turn there are more things to see and the most stimulating smells imaginable. On one corner you sniff the peonies from the florist and on the next your

You Meet the Whole World Here

Image
How do I sum up an entire semester in a single post? I can't. If you've been reading you already know many of the things I've learned, but I feel like I need something to close us out since I leave the Emerald Isle tomorrow evening. I guess I shall simply follow suit of my good friends Leanna at  between a shamrock and a good place  and Arianne at  unicorns and peaches . The most significant thing I got out of this semester was friendships. I'm the type of person who can only be close to two or three people at a time, but here I lived with 31 people day in and day out for three months. We got pretty close as you can imagine. I learned to talk to people and open up to people that I otherwise would have never gotten to know. I'm not best friends with all 31 of these people, but I have more friends now that I think I've ever had in my life and it breaks my heart to think about leaving them tomorrow. I'll see many of them again in th

Last Minute Learning

Image
Labels are dangerous. I am a moderately quiet person and because of that I have been labeled introverted. This has never really bothered me since I believed it to be a fact of my personality. This semester has taught me a lot, but most recently I've discovered that I am in fact extroverted. I get my energy from being around people, talking to people, and sharing things with others. I hate being by myself. I've always thought that the anxiety I felt when I'm alone was just my lack of independence or some flaw in my character. I've always assumed that when I'm stressed that I should spend time alone, but it never helps. I need to talk things out, I need to share experiences with other people. For years I've been trying to fit myself into an introverted box and that has not been working out.  It seems unfair to label people based on early impressions we have and yet we continue to do it. We're on our last week in Ireland and I'm still disco

For the Road

Image
Today was a reminder that life is beautiful. I don't know why I forget that so very often. I went to Dublin today and went to The Hugh Lane Gallery and the National Gallery of Ireland. I love art museums; The calming atmosphere, the gentle whispers of admirers. I love how a single painting can bring tears to your eyes in a way you can't explain. I couldn't take pictures of most of the paintings, I only snagged one of a Renoir and I'm not even sure if I was supposed to. Looking at art has a special way of renewing the soul. All the stress and struggle of life just disappear and melt in to the canvas the longer you stare at it. I saw for the first time today Jack Yeats' paintings. He's one of my new favorites. I might have been particularly inclined to like him since he is the brother of my favourite poet, William Butler Yeats. "Grief" "For the Road" I just found myself staring at these paintings for what seemed like ages. Th

Hope in Humility

Image
One of my biggest insecurities growing up was uncertainty of my intelligence. Since elementary school my closest friends have also been those at the top of the class. I was convinced that I was never smart enough and the people I surrounded myself with only confirmed that my intelligence did not measure up to theirs. My obsession with being "smart" also made me very arrogant around people I thought were unintelligent. I projected my disappointment in myself onto them and instead of valuing their other talents and skill, I only ever looked at their grades. This was not a fun way to live life. I was either feeling shamed by other people's arrogance or inflicting my own arrogance on someone else. At some point in high school I decided that there really were more important qualities in people other than their ability to master calculus or successfully analyze poetry. I made friends in other places and became less concerned with academia. Somehow, though, I st